Since the start of the year my wife has died, Corona virus has struck and today I am in my 17th day of isolation following lock down in Spain. Here I review the progress of my portfolio for this module and intent.
My project for this module is a visceral immersion in my emotional journey through the traumatic events of this year. My intent is to project what it felt like to experience the trials, tribulations and torments I struggled through in my efforts to achieve homeostasis. In doing so it can help my own process of assimilation of grief and some form of acceptance.
It has taken so long to craft this intent. This is partly due to the work I am doing being part of the learning journey on the MA to broaden and deepen my understanding of the full range of photographic practices. Left alone I would happily have carried on with my love of landscape and essay photography. Cemre would not leave me alone so here I am and I am glad to be here as I have learnt so much more.
A moment of magic with Paul Clements came when I asked him who his audience was for his work. He immediately said ‘me’. Tell me more and he said ‘it is my way to work things out for myself and I am never happier than out with my camera exploring my project and creating images for me’. I loved the simplicity of this as it sounded like the answer I had for myself but was not sure it was legitimate in academic space. The intent above is a powerful one for me to resolve the challenges I have faced over recent years. It does also say the audience is academic.
For my FMP I will give much more thought to audience and packaging.
Work in Progress Portfolio
The submitted work in progress portfolio is titled ‘Alleviation of Existence’.
It is interesting to compare this with the first collection on the 4th Feb. Not one image from that first portfolio survived to the final set. The process I use is to print off images, put them on my dining table, play with them, post them on instagram, seek views, take to peer reviews and webinar reviews, listen, ask questions and reorganise.
One month later some of the final images are creeping in and a shift towards trace with absence is beginning to take hold. By this time there is a lot of discussion of literal versus personal versus resonant.
Only ten days later on 17th March the battle between images with absence and personally emotional images with actors is in full flow. I also was torn apart around this time and had to take a break from the MA to just be with my grief. By April 1st the battle is over and the portfolio is beginning to settle.
What a journey. What learning.